by Paul Beckman

When I was five years old my father left. Mom said he couldn’t handle three kids so he left it up to her.

***

“I’m not comparing,” Mom would say, comparing us. “But if your brothers can make honors, not get in trouble, hang out with better friends, be home in time for dinner etc. so can you.”

***

“I don’t think I’m selfish, Mom. I work at the grocery store every day and have a paper route. I should be able to keep some of the money for movies and snacks and not have to give it all to you.”

***

“Mom, I decided against college and I’m going into the service. Yes, they’ll take me right after graduation with a letter from you. You don’t think I should take the summer off to hang out with my friends and say my goodbyes to everyone? Oh. You arranged it all with the recruiter and my physical is this week.”

***

“Dear Mom, I’m sending this to older brother to pass on to you. I mailed you a letter from my Air Force base and it was returned with the envelope saying, ‘Moved, left no forwarding address.’ I don’t understand. Are you okay?”

***

“Of course I understand, Mom. You were busy packing and things when you moved and some things got by you. Looking forward to seeing the new apartment when I’m on leave next month.”

***

“That’s okay, Mom. I don’t need my own bedroom for the two weeks I’ll be home. The couch is fine.”

***

“Okay, Mom. We’ll figure something out but I’m surprised that you don’t have a couch. You used to love lounging in our old one.”

***

“Mom, sure will be good having your cooking again. I do miss it. Budget? I can help out some but I only make $78 a month. I guess I can afford $2 a meal but it seems strange having to pay my mother for my meals. I’ll try to understand.”

***

“What do you mean, an accident? Not planned for and that made my father unhappy at home? What about my two brothers. Oh. Planned. Uh huh.”

***

“Sorry, Mom, I got busy and forgot to get a Mother’s Day card. Yes, you’re right; it was thoughtful of my brothers to get you cards and Cadburys.”

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Paul Beckman used to be a pin setter and many other things. These days he’s a Zeyde who writes, travels and takes pictures both above and beneath the water. He collects memories and punchboards. Some publishing credits: Pank, Connotation Press, Journal of Microliterature, Litro, Boston Literary Magazine, The Connecticut Review and other fine magazines online and in print.

His new flash story collection, Peek, from Big Table Publishing, came out in February 2015 weighing in at 65 stories and 117 pages. It can be purchased from his published story website http://paulbeckmanstories.com/ or from Amazon.