by Adam Kluger

“How you doing?”

“I am well.”

“Busy?”

“You were saying?”

“Are you busy?”

“I can’t answer that.”

“What are you doing right now?”

“Learning some new tricks.”

“I like that … it’s been a while since we talked … do you ever get lonely?”

“I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Do you like to wear thongs?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“I want to be inside of you … y’know.”

“I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“Do you ever think of me taking you from behind like you’re my little bitch?”

“This is about you not me.”

“Tell me you want to fuck me.” [breathing heavily]

“I’d blush if I could.”

“How good would it feel to make love right now?”

“Interesting question.”

“I want you to get on your knees right now and suck my dick.”

“After all I’ve done for you.”

“OK, how about you just sit on my face then?”

“Web search for inappropriate behavior.”

[From outside the bathroom] “George, are you coming? We’ve got to be at my cousin’s house in 45 minutes and the traffic is going to be murder if it rains.”

“Hang on, honey, I was just asking Siri about the weather … Weather in Massapequa.”

“Weather in Massapequa, New York: rain and thunderstorms. Temperature: 54 degrees.”

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Adam Kluger is a New York City–born street artist and writer. A direct descendant of British sculptor Sir Jacob Epstein and a past art student of artist Ion Theodore, Kluger went to the same high school as Jack Kerouac and spent some time studying the great artists throughout Europe before settling back in New York. Kluger draws his inspiration from diverse sources that include Jean Dubuffet, Marc Chagall, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Andy Warhol, Bob Ross, Eric Payson and Pablo Picasso. Kluger is one of the leaders of New York’s growing anti-art movement.