by John Holland

We decided to stop arguing and go on the march. I painted a placard in watercolours that said “The Earth is Hotter than Harry Styles”. When we arrived you were cold in your Morrissey T-shirt and it started to rain. You laughed when I had to dump the runny soaked placard.

“Hell’s teeth, we could do with a bit of bloody global warming right now.” It was just a throwaway remark. That’s what you told me afterwards. You were being ironic. The sandalled Jesus over-reacted and you wouldn’t back down. Typical of you. Then it kicked off. I did call out from the crowd for them to leave you alone.

You, sprawled on the pavement outside Dolcis like a big bloodied badger. The Daily Mail’s caption, “This man was the voice of reason”. And I didn’t volunteer your name to the reporter. He asked politely and seemed genuinely keen to know.

I can’t believe what you’ve become — the poster boy for the Flat Earth Society. Most days on Twitter shouting your mouth off. I’d argue with you if I didn’t have anything better to do.

When I see you again, I’ll shove an indelible ink placard in your face. It’ll say “The Earth is Changing. Why Won’t You?”

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John Holland is a multi-prize-winning short fiction author from Gloucestershire in the UK. His work is widely published in anthologies and online. John also runs Stroud Short Stories. His website is johnhollandwrites.com. He’s on Twitter @JohnHol88897218.